New entries will now be at the top, uncategorized – because #lazy.
(08:03:51 PM) Corey Kelly: well see you in a min
(08:03:54 PM) edar: oh?
(08:03:58 PM) edar: gym time for 10 minutes? 😀
(08:03:58 PM) Corey Kelly: gym
(08:04:04 PM) Corey Kelly: har
(08:04:04 PM) edar: good for you
(08:04:14 PM) Corey Kelly: i dont have time to fake laugh im getting in my gym mode
(08:04:19 PM) edar: kk do it
(08:04:26 PM) edar: huuurrrrnnnnnnggggswole
(08:04:41 PM) Corey Kelly: Ameriiccaaaannnn swwwoooollllleeedier
(08:04:50 PM) edar: <chest-bump>
(08:04:57 PM) Corey Kelly: <beer chug>
(08:05:02 PM) edar: <anal fisting>
(08:05:12 PM) Corey Kelly: …..I think thats more of a liberal thing
(08:05:15 PM) edar: 😀 <3
(08:05:17 PM) edar: go gym, goofball
(05:31:48 PM) edar: i would date sarah in a hot second
(05:31:56 PM) Corey Kelly: who is sarah again?
(05:32:09 PM) edar: i think you’ve met her – very dark hair, nurse at sparrow
(05:32:18 PM) edar: great rack
(05:33:44 PM) Corey Kelly: there is more to a woman than a great rack
(05:33:57 PM) edar: absolutely
(05:33:58 PM) Corey Kelly: did I really just say that?
(05:34:05 PM) edar: seriously, did we just switch brains there for a minute
(05:34:10 PM) Corey Kelly: LOL
(05:34:26 PM) Corey Kelly: I was wondering why I all of a sudden wanted to boink every coworker I have
(05:34:35 PM) edar: LOL
(05:34:40 PM) edar: gromig, no!
(05:34:49 PM) Corey Kelly: LOL
(06:56:54 PM) Corey Kelly: so I was thinking about getting a van with no windows
(06:57:15 PM) Corey Kelly: http://cdn.overclock.net/5/5c/5c57cb9a_2001-ford-econoline-cargo-van-e-150-white_100038678_m.jpeg
(06:57:28 PM) Corey Kelly: and painting a fucking wizard on the side of it or some other majestic shit
(06:57:29 PM) edar: creepy
(07:07:53 PM) Corey Kelly: no its awesome
(07:08:04 PM) edar: ah
(07:08:15 PM) Corey Kelly: and then I can put speakers on the back doors with an amp. and then open it up and play guitar to homeless people
(07:08:20 PM) Corey Kelly: it will be awesome
(07:08:25 PM) edar: and kidnap children
(07:08:45 PM) Corey Kelly: I have not nor will I ever be a child kidnapper
(07:08:56 PM) edar: if you get a van like that, it’s mandatory
(07:09:30 PM) Corey Kelly: not if it has a wizzard
(07:09:36 PM) edar: i see
(07:09:51 PM) Corey Kelly: and maybe like a tidal wave and some other crazy shit
(07:09:58 PM) edar: dragons, et cetera
(07:10:07 PM) edar: wolves
(07:10:36 PM) Corey Kelly: wolves are cool
(07:10:42 PM) edar: they are, until you paint them on shit
(07:10:53 PM) Corey Kelly: I can paint you riding a wolf. it will be nostolic for you
(07:10:57 PM) edar: …
(07:11:12 PM) edar: nostalgic in the future, as in, “ah, remember that time i dismembered corey kelly for the painting? good times.”
(07:11:37 PM) Corey Kelly: LOL
(07:30:20 PM) Corey Kelly: are you going to actually dance at my party?
(07:30:26 PM) edar: depends upon the music i guess
(07:30:35 PM) Corey Kelly: whhat? I didn’t know you danced
(07:30:35 PM) edar: formal wear, i assume, as it’s potterville
(07:30:43 PM) edar: i danced my ass off at the christmas party
(07:30:52 PM) Corey Kelly: formal? thats classy shit compared to how us pville folks dress
(07:31:23 PM) edar: potterville being the classy place it is, i assumed i’d need something formal
(07:31:25 PM) edar: like pants
(07:31:37 PM) Corey Kelly: do you have any overalls? or straw hats?
(07:31:48 PM) edar: i stopped living in mason in 1988
(07:31:51 PM) edar: so no
(07:32:18 PM) Corey Kelly: maybe something to chew on while riding your ol john deere around?
(07:32:24 PM) edar: mhmm
(05:33:52 PM) Corey Kelly: I started wearing a headband
(05:33:58 PM) Corey Kelly: so close to a man bun
(06:51:00 PM) Corey Kelly: but like I said my only job interview was for here
(06:51:49 PM) Corey Kelly: I had one at cheddars actually too, while I waited to hear back from LW but that was the day after LW said I had an interview. so I didn’t care much about it, and they said I was too cocky…..
(06:52:02 PM) edar: get out
(06:52:05 PM) edar: i refuse to believe that
(06:52:12 PM) Corey Kelly: ask my roomate
(06:52:23 PM) edar: i’m sorry, i forgot my <sarcasm></sarcasm> tags there
(06:52:24 PM) Corey Kelly: he was working there at the time, which is why I had the interview
(06:52:27 PM) Corey Kelly: oh
(06:52:28 PM) Corey Kelly: LOL
(06:52:29 PM) Corey Kelly: jerk
(06:54:26 PM) Corey Kelly: I think she has only been with maybe two other guys
(06:54:36 PM) edar: no WONDER she thinks you’re amazing!
(06:54:39 PM) edar: </sarcasm>
(06:54:41 PM) Corey Kelly: LOL
(06:54:43 PM) Corey Kelly: jerk
(06:54:44 PM) Corey Kelly: again
(07:17:19 PM) Corey Kelly: erin can I hang up on this guy
(07:17:28 PM) Corey Kelly: hes looking for his password for like 6 min now
(07:17:37 PM) edar: lol
(07:17:42 PM) edar: i’m going to go with no for now
(07:17:44 PM) Corey Kelly: and keeps telling me to hold on
(07:17:46 PM) Corey Kelly: ok
(07:18:03 PM) Corey Kelly: holy crap he finally found it
(07:18:19 PM) Corey Kelly: I feel like im on punked right now
(06:04:50 PM) Corey Kelly: can I borrow 41K ? 😀 😀
(06:05:02 PM) edar: do you promise not to buy drugs and hookers with it?
Corey and I were going to meet some folks as the pool hall after work. He was lazy and didn’t want to drive to East Lansing, so I said to meet me at my house and I’d drive. He was late.
Me: Bitch where you at 12:17 AM
Corey Kelly: I got lost….. 12:18 AM
Corey Kelly: Classic corey 12:19 AM
Me: Where are you? 12:20 AM
Corey Kelly: On the highway again. 12:20 AM
Corey Kelly: Switched yyo my gps 12:20 AM
Me: Oh ffs 12:21 AM
Me: How far 12:21 AM
Corey Kelly: Like 10 seconds 12:25 AM
I went outside at this point to wait. Looking up the street, I saw Corey pulling into the wrong driveway.
Me: You’re at the wrong house 12:27 AM
A few minutes later, he backs out and begins looking for the right house, finally. He saw my text after he was in my car.
ckelly: Sorry I was late to reply I almost caught my house on fire while cooking ramen. Long story story short I didn’t check to see that I put a plastic pan on a stove lol
(05:28:43 PM) Corey Kelly: O_O
(05:28:52 PM) Corey Kelly: also you wanna be in my youtube show?
(05:29:25 PM) edar: no thank you, please.
(05:29:48 PM) Corey Kelly: oh cuz it would be such a shame for me to publicly expose you <__<
(05:29:53 PM) edar: wat
(05:30:02 PM) edar: i just hate being on camera
(05:30:16 PM) Corey Kelly: you wont mind it when youre drunk
(05:30:21 PM) Corey Kelly: ill have you sign a concent form
(05:30:27 PM) Corey Kelly: when youre drunk
(05:31:39 PM) edar: that’ll stand up in court
(07:51:56 PM) edar: we’re going to the asian pool hall now, not reno’s
(07:51:57 PM) Corey Kelly: hi
(07:52:07 PM) Corey Kelly: ew why
(07:52:14 PM) edar: because they’re open til 330 and have real tables
(07:52:17 PM) edar: and they sell booze by the bottle
(07:52:19 PM) edar: and food
(07:52:35 PM) Corey Kelly: renos is 2 min from my house asian pool hall is X min
(07:52:48 PM) edar: yep it’s a shitty location
(07:52:49 PM) Corey Kelly: and I dun wanna solve for x
(07:52:51 PM) edar: totally worth it
(07:53:08 PM) Corey Kelly: who decided this
(07:53:13 PM) Corey Kelly: I call mutant
(07:53:15 PM) Corey Kelly: mutany
(07:53:26 PM) edar: I CALL MUTANT
(07:53:32 PM) edar: *mutiny btw
(07:53:36 PM) Corey Kelly: mutiny
(07:53:39 PM) Corey Kelly: yes
(07:53:39 PM) edar: yes that
(07:53:40 PM) Corey Kelly: lol
(07:53:55 PM) Corey Kelly: I was trying to spell and also not at the same time
(07:54:01 PM) Corey Kelly: MUTANT
(07:54:10 PM) Corey Kelly: but yes who decides?
(07:56:51 PM) edar: who decides how to spell?
(07:57:54 PM) Corey Kelly: well that…
(07:57:57 PM) Corey Kelly: and also where we go
(07:57:58 PM) Corey Kelly: 🙁
(07:58:12 PM) edar: me
(07:58:30 PM) Corey Kelly: MUTANTNY!
(07:58:53 PM) edar: lol
(06:07:10 PM) Corey Kelly: so I either got mild or super spicy
(06:07:20 PM) edar: lol you can’t tell which?
(06:07:22 PM) Corey Kelly: the lids were all mixed up lol
(06:08:47 PM) edar: lol
(06:13:45 PM) Corey Kelly: OMG IM DTING
(06:13:54 PM) Corey Kelly: I just ate a habenero right before a customer called
(06:13:56 PM) Corey Kelly: AHHH
(06:15:34 PM) edar: lolol
(06:15:53 PM) Corey Kelly: I grabbed the wrong ones
(06:15:58 PM) Corey Kelly: ths is terrible
(06:20:49 PM) Corey Kelly: i feel like the NSA
(06:21:06 PM) Corey Kelly: im going through some guys email im watching creepy house cams
(06:22:13 PM) Corey Kelly: wtf is he doing with his hands?
(06:24:29 PM) Corey Kelly: my mouth is on fire
(06:24:39 PM) edar: lolol
(06:30:29 PM) Corey Kelly: how is that funny to you
(06:30:37 PM) Corey Kelly: im going to die
(06:32:58 PM) Corey Kelly: you have weird parties lol
(06:59:10 PM) edar: it wasn’t a party 😛
(06:59:12 PM) edar: it was a gathering
(07:01:19 PM) Corey Kelly: like magic?
(07:01:42 PM) edar: …
(09:16:18 PM) Corey Kelly: hahaha so this chick I use to bang
(09:16:33 PM) Corey Kelly: her bf just got caught with a mobile meth lab in charlotte
(09:16:40 PM) edar: bwah
(09:16:57 PM) Corey Kelly: also I don’t enjoy how half my stories to you start with this chick I use to bang
(09:17:21 PM) Corey Kelly: I either need to have less sex or do more exciting things
(09:17:37 PM) edar: LOL
(09:17:49 PM) edar: corey kelly, i could not agree more
(09:18:03 PM) Corey Kelly: that I need to do more exciting things?
(09:18:11 PM) edar: both
I was sitting in the tub, watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. in one window on a laptop, and the NASA Orion launch in another window (because we live in the future,) feeling pretty chuffed about technology. Eight minutes into the launch video, my laptop and cell phone ring in unison (again, because we live in the future,) and I see it’s Corey Kelly. Because it is Corey Kelly, and I am now his BFF (as seen here: “ckelly: touch BFFs.edar.ckelly” I mean, I can’t argue with that kind of power,) I pause SHIELD, break my sanctuary, and answer the phone.
Corey: Yo. What’re you doing?
Me: Taking a bath.
Corey: Ew. You could’ve lied.
Me: Yeah. Sorry. What’re you doing?
Corey: I got this awesome sweater today!
Me: Do go on.
Corey: It’s a Christmas sweater!
Me: Of course it is. I need photos.
Corey: I don’t have any though.
Me: Take one and send it to me.
Corey: Ok. Hey, would it be bad if I had sex with a girl on my roommate’s bed? Since all I have is an air mattress?
Me: Put down a towel first, you’ll be fine.
Corey: What’s this brown stuff I’m eating?
(07:29:37 PM) Corey Kelly: idk why I get distracted with things I know I already said
(07:29:42 PM) Corey Kelly: doesnt make any sense
(07:30:05 PM) edar: wat
(07:30:25 PM) Corey Kelly: reading those things I said already on your page
(07:30:27 PM) Corey Kelly: lol
(07:30:30 PM) edar: <3
(07:30:55 PM) Corey Kelly: its like reading a book about myself
(07:31:05 PM) edar: that you wrote
(07:31:36 PM) Corey Kelly: I feel like E. L. James would be the one to write a book about my life
(07:31:56 PM) edar: <HORK>
(07:32:10 PM) edar: i had to look that up
(08:25:35 PM) Corey Kelly: you have added 3 new entries to my part in why you drink since last time I looked
(08:25:37 PM) Corey Kelly: 30 min ago
[now I’m just doing it to antagonize you]
(08:17:34 PM) Corey Kelly: I suck at spelling
(08:17:38 PM) edar: you DO
(08:17:52 PM) Corey Kelly: can you run my shit through a spellcheck before you post so ppl dun think im dumb 🙂
(07:27:36 PM) Corey Kelly: wait a fucking second
(07:27:47 PM) edar: wat
(07:27:57 PM) Corey Kelly: 05:34:24 PM) happy_unicorn: i mean, you could set one up for his ip address…
(05:34:30 PM) Jack: lol i could
(05:34:40 PM) Jack: that’s even better
(07:28:05 PM) Corey Kelly: is this why he asked for my IP address?
(07:28:18 PM) edar: lol yes
(06:24:12 PM) ckelly: I feel so awkward right now. I have to fix some porn site. and im just alone in the dark up here
(06:24:39 PM) edar: quit fapping
(06:29:47 PM) ckelly: cant helps it
(06:37:11 PM) CKelly: so this lady is coming to my house tomorrow to install my internet
(06:37:15 PM) CKelly: I think I am going to hit on her
(06:42:34 PM) edar: you wouldn’t be ckelly if you didn’t
(07:09:43 PM) Corey Kelly: you wouldn’t happen to have an extra HDMI cable would you?
(07:09:50 PM) edar: not here
(07:09:53 PM) edar: probs not at home, either tho
(07:10:08 PM) Corey Kelly: 🙁 I didn’t wanna buy one lol
(07:10:26 PM) edar: so you basically wanted me to permanently give you an hdmi cable for free
(07:11:35 PM) Corey Kelly: well for friendship points
(07:11:54 PM) edar: and what is the market value for those?
(07:11:55 PM) Corey Kelly: friendship poinrs are worth a lot
(07:12:03 PM) Corey Kelly: easy
(07:12:15 PM) Corey Kelly: 5 friendship points are worth one ckelly favor
(07:12:39 PM) edar: and how many points does an hdmi buy a person, out of curiosity
(07:12:59 PM) Corey Kelly: idk im the buyer not the seller
(07:13:45 PM) Corey Kelly: but only friends can get friendship points
(07:13:57 PM) Corey Kelly: they are worth more than money IMO
(07:14:23 PM) edar: i see, i see
(07:14:25 PM) edar: but no
(07:15:24 PM) Corey Kelly: there are a lot of things you can get with friendship points
(07:15:40 PM) edar: herpes?
(07:15:51 PM) Corey Kelly: herpes is free
(07:17:55 PM) Corey Kelly: i caught a hiny pikachu yesterday and accidentally deleted it 🙁 🙁
(07:18:03 PM) edar: wtf is a hiny pikachu
(07:18:09 PM) Corey Kelly: fucking spelling
(07:18:13 PM) Corey Kelly: shiny*
(07:18:22 PM) edar: oh, ckelly.
(07:18:31 PM) edar: no way you can get it back?
(07:18:39 PM) Corey Kelly: no 🙁 🙁
(07:18:44 PM) edar: bummer
(07:18:58 PM) Corey Kelly: I went to take a pic of it with my phone and accidentally grabbed the power button lol
(07:19:06 PM) edar: you goon
(07:19:30 PM) Corey Kelly: they are like 1/8000 chance to get a shiny lol
(07:19:43 PM) edar: well that’s a serious bummer then
(07:20:08 PM) Corey Kelly: im not too mad tho I had just started playing like an hour before that. like brand new game. so im not too dissapointed but it was the first I ever seen lol
(07:20:23 PM) Corey Kelly: some people spend years trying to get that shit and I seen within my first hour lol
(07:20:37 PM) edar: i guess you’re really good at being lucky
(07:20:38 PM) Corey Kelly: but I could have sold it for like $50
(07:20:40 PM) edar: ON A NUMBER OF FRONTS
(07:20:50 PM) Corey Kelly: BAM!
(07:20:56 PM) Corey Kelly: sometimes the backs 😉
(07:21:08 PM) Corey Kelly: AMIRIGHT?? *high five*
(07:22:13 PM) edar: i’m just going to link my jabber logs with you to your page in real time
Corey Kelly is typing…
ckelly: also turns out there is no instalation fee on internet when you do it yourself…I could have had internet this whole fucking time lol
me: also, lol
ckelly: im kinda upset about that b/c I thought I needed to pay
(09:03:08 PM) edar: let’s just try to avoid you getting anal with anyone there tonight
(09:03:32 PM) ckelly: I will, might have to just drink beer lolz
(09:03:54 PM) edar: i can try to control the jack for you. i say “try.”
(09:04:07 PM) ckelly: well ill probably start with a jack and then switch to bud
(09:04:18 PM) edar: see, you SAY that
(09:04:22 PM) edar: you’ll end up starting with jack
(09:04:24 PM) edar: and then more jack
(09:04:27 PM) edar: after some jack
(09:04:27 PM)edar: etc
(10:32:16 PM) ckelly: btw I drank a beer that wasn’t BL the other night. 😀
(10:36:49 PM) edar: gtfo
(10:36:51 PM) edar: what was it?
(10:37:11 PM) ckelly: icabad (spl)
(08:01:07 PM) edar: I WILL INVITE YOU TOO
(08:01:21 PM) ckelly: you know for a fact you would have way more fun with Mr Jack Kelly
(08:02:01 PM) edar: i…. don’t necessarily think that’s true.
(08:02:39 PM) ckelly: I HAVE NEVER
(08:02:46 PM) ckelly: I can not even with you right now
(06:31:54 PM) ckelly: others peoples business is not mine to tell
(06:31:56 PM) ckelly: 😛
(06:31:57 PM) edar: COREY says that
(06:32:00 PM) edar: what does jack say?
(06:32:09 PM) ckelly: HAHA
(06:32:15 PM) edar: mhm
(06:32:26 PM) ckelly: i LOVE how you refer to my alterego by his real name
(06:32:50 PM) edar: you sort of trained me
(06:33:10 PM) ckelly: corey or jack?
(06:33:13 PM) edar: yes
(06:33:19 PM) ckelly: lelz
(06:33:23 PM) edar: but the context can trip me up occasionally, because Real Jack
(06:34:15 PM) ckelly: yes him………. <_<
(09:49:26 PM) edar: but she’s the one to suck up to in this case
(09:49:45 PM) ckelly: I know how plitics work 😛
(09:49:50 PM) ckelly: and spelling
(09:49:53 PM) edar: you’ll have to teach me sometime
(09:50:23 PM) edar: i don’t politic
(09:50:28 PM) ckelly: everyone do
(09:50:34 PM) edar: not so much
(09:50:42 PM) edar: i lack an internal editor
(09:50:49 PM) edar: so i just blurt out whatever i’m thinking and hope for the best
(09:50:59 PM) ckelly: thats called politics 🙂
(09:51:09 PM) ckelly: sounds like youre democrating well
(09:51:42 PM) edar: i’m not a democrat!
(09:52:02 PM) edar: i’m a socialist
(09:52:03 PM) edar: 😛
(09:52:15 PM) edar: with ironic libertarian twists
(11:08:36 PM) ckelly: so the bar tender I banged is gonna be there and carla (the girl im banging right now) is there right now but might leave soon. and hannah my ex are all there right now…..also some other cougar who wants me.
(11:08:49 PM) edar: your life. omg.
(11:08:59 PM) ckelly: #DRAMAintheCille
(11:09:06 PM) ckelly: ville*
(11:09:39 PM) ckelly: so its my ex bish standing with my next bish standing with the girl that im fuckin right now……….its a drake song…..my life is a drake song
(11:10:10 PM) edar: iiiiiii…. really have no sympathy, since this is alllllll your own doing 😀
(11:10:31 PM) ckelly: Why didn’t you warn me!
(11:10:37 PM) ckelly: WHYYYY
(11:11:06 PM) edar: if only I HAD SEEN THIS SHIT COMING
(04:35:52 PM) ckelly: so yeah! that chick totally wanted me lolz
(04:36:02 PM) edar: i am so disappointed in her self-esteem tho.
(10:03:36 PM) ckelly: I do think its funny that when the new girl asks a question she will have like 4 guys be like “OMW” but when the new guys ask questions people are like “LOLZ here is a wiki you probably already read”
(10:04:03 PM) edar: yep, that’s often how it goes.
(10:04:35 PM) ckelly: thats why all the girls here get so good so fast lol
(10:04:40 PM) edar: …
(10:04:43 PM) edar: i will cut you
(10:04:56 PM) ckelly: with the exception of you of course???
(10:04:57 PM) ckelly: 😀
(10:04:58 PM) edar: no
(10:05:01 PM) edar: cal
(10:05:03 PM) edar: benny
(10:05:04 PM) edar: ani
(10:05:06 PM) edar: erina
(10:05:13 PM) edar: many others over the years
(10:05:25 PM) edar: they just kick ass
(10:05:47 PM) ckelly: I dont know any of those people
(10:06:14 PM) edar: of course you don’t, nublet
(10:06:17 PM) edar: except cal
(10:06:23 PM) edar: with whom you fucking work
(05:56:58 PM) ckelly: so I read this really messed up pickup line yesterday and I used it last night….and I would be dammned if it actually worked
(05:57:14 PM) edar: you know i need to know
(05:57:25 PM) ckelly: you might find it offensive.
(05:57:29 PM) edar: assuredly
(05:57:33 PM) edar: i have almost zero doubt
(05:57:43 PM) ckelly: ok dont get mad and or think less of me
(05:57:46 PM) edar: lulz
(05:57:56 PM) ckelly: also I didn’t sex her if that makes it better
(05:57:57 PM) ckelly: butt
(05:58:00 PM) ckelly: I said
(05:58:08 PM) ckelly: roses or tulips
(05:58:15 PM) ckelly: and she was like tulips
(06:00:23 PM) ckelly: and I was like “good I just wanted to know what to put on your casket after I get done murdering that pussy”
(06:00:25 PM) ckelly: HAHA
(06:00:28 PM) edar: wow
(06:00:28 PM) ckelly: hahahhaa
(06:00:33 PM) edar: that’s even worse than i thought possible
(06:00:53 PM) ckelly: yeahhhh……I read it online…so I was gonna see if girls actually bought it
(06:00:59 PM) ckelly: so I used it on some online girl
(06:01:18 PM) ckelly: I knew you were going to hate it
(06:01:19 PM) ckelly: lolol
(06:01:43 PM) edar: it’s not offensive, it’s just… bad
(06:02:00 PM) edar: like, who would ever be “OMG YOU’RE SO CLEVER AND HOT AND I BET YOU’RE GREAT IN THE SACK!” after that
(06:06:00 PM) ckelly: only the lowest of self esteem girls really
(06:06:06 PM) ckelly: too low I dont even go
(06:07:09 PM) edar: amazing
(06:07:26 PM) ckelly: which part?
(06:07:48 PM) edar: all of it?
(07:56:58 PM) edar: not your type tho
(07:57:22 PM) ckelly: if she is a female she is my type
(01:51:34 PM) ckelly: you would be so dissapointed in me last night…….I totally failed
(03:56:51 PM) edar: TELL ME EVERYTHING
(03:58:20 PM) ckelly: alas I can not child
(03:58:25 PM) ckelly: I shamed my family
(03:58:49 PM) ckelly: I should remove the “KELLY” tat off my upper back
(04:02:30 PM) edar: <sigh>
(04:03:07 PM) ckelly: i dont actually have that tat by the way
(04:03:17 PM) edar: oh thank god
(04:03:38 PM) edar: i was going to make a snarky comment about that (hard to believe, i know) but i thought you might genuinely be in distress
(04:03:40 PM) edar: so i left it be
[and to preserve what little is left of his dignity, I am leaving off what happened next]
(07:06:40 PM) ckelly: The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.
(07:15:35 PM) edar: absolutely 100% incorrect
(11:13:04 PM) ckelly: Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
(11:13:31 PM) edar: did you just… you did.
(11:13:34 PM) edar: YOU QUOTED MATTHEW
(11:13:41 PM) ckelly: BAM! get bibled
(11:13:47 PM) edar: NO THANK YOU
(08:20:23 PM) ckelly: would you say I dress like a man?
(08:20:30 PM) ckelly: I would say yes
(08:20:30 PM) edar: um
(08:20:35 PM) edar: yes?
(08:20:38 PM) edar: i guess?
(08:21:26 PM) edar: i mean, i don’t really pay much attention to clothes.
(08:21:35 PM) edar: but i have a vaguely masculine impression of your attire.
(08:21:41 PM) edar: except for captain condom
(08:21:48 PM) ckelly: I bought a new belt and you noticed the first day…..
(08:22:01 PM) edar: gtfo
(08:22:07 PM) edar: was it a giant cock?
(08:22:10 PM) edar: or a flag?
(08:22:14 PM) ckelly: it was white
(08:22:15 PM) edar: ah
(08:22:19 PM) edar: it was tacky then
(08:22:21 PM) ckelly: and you said whats up with this
(08:22:22 PM) edar: i can notice tacky
(08:22:27 PM) ckelly: and I said to match my shoes
(08:22:30 PM) edar: LOL
(08:22:33 PM) ckelly: lol its not tacky
(08:22:38 PM) edar: i’m going to go take back my “yes” to your original question
(08:22:45 PM) ckelly: fug off 😛
(08:22:48 PM) edar: k
(08:22:53 PM) ckelly: 😛
(08:22:56 PM) edar: <3
(08:22:59 PM) ckelly: <3
(04:22:07 PM) ckelly: http://www.unimen.co.nz/collections/hoodies/products/coloured-sports-hoodie you think these are coolio? i like 07
(04:25:17 PM) ckelly: http://www.unimen.co.nz/collections/hoodies/products/high-grade-winter-lining-fur-collar-hoodie what about diz one 😀
(04:25:33 PM) edar: omg
(04:25:34 PM) edar: no
(04:25:54 PM) ckelly: you no liek 🙁
(04:26:05 PM) edar: because it’s tacky as fuck
(04:26:14 PM) ckelly: HAHA I like the fur
(04:26:25 PM) ckelly: I think this winter I am going to be wearing more white
(04:26:34 PM) edar: okayyyy
(04:28:10 PM) ckelly: http://www.unimen.co.nz/collections/pants-shorts/products/fashion-comfortable-men-s-swimming-trunks 😀
(04:29:26 PM) edar: STAHHHHP
(04:29:40 PM) ckelly: LOLZ you dont like those ones? you are hard to please
(04:30:08 PM) edar: i’m not an early twenty-something hipster 😛
(04:31:18 PM) ckelly: I AM NOT a hipster
(04:31:29 PM) ckelly: also im mid twenties
(04:31:39 PM) edar: of course
(04:34:37 PM) ckelly: do you have any requests for tonight?
(04:35:17 PM) edar: i wouldn’t even know where to start
(04:35:33 PM) ckelly: well what do YOU want to sing?
(04:35:37 PM) edar: …
(04:35:38 PM) edar: nope
(04:47:58 PM) ckelly: ryan is thinking jorney
(04:50:01 PM) ckelly: I wanna sing a Disney Song
(04:50:05 PM) ckelly: LOLZ
(04:50:09 PM) ckelly: imma dew et
(04:51:40 PM) edar: i’m just along for the ride, you kids do what you wanna do
(04:52:25 PM) ckelly: imma get you drunk til you singg
(04:52:54 PM) edar: Good. Luck.
(04:53:13 PM) edar: because a.) i have to drive home, and b.) (and i believe i’ve mentioned this before,) NOT ENOUGH BOOZE IN ALL THE WORLD
(05:21:30 PM) Ckelly: btw sang with luda last night
(05:24:08 PM) edar: (05:22:51 PM) edar: and how was singing?
(05:24:27 PM) Ckelly: ahh yes
(05:24:31 PM) Ckelly: well idk to be honest
(05:24:36 PM) Ckelly: I didn’t listen
(05:24:45 PM) Ckelly: I was mackin on byotches
(05:24:54 PM) Ckelly: but he said he killed it so I believe him
(05:25:13 PM) Ckelly: we sang bohemium rhapsody together
(05:25:15 PM) Ckelly: kilt it
(05:25:24 PM) Ckelly: I hit a high note and everyone cheered
(05:25:43 PM) Ckelly: idk if they were cheering because I nailed it or they were glad it was over
(05:25:47 PM) Ckelly: either way it felt good
(05:26:12 PM) edar: oh jesus i am so sad i missed that
(08:57:39 PM) ckelly: my site has over 1000 hits already and it just has a under construction thing
(08:57:44 PM) edar: nice
(08:57:46 PM) ckelly: storagewhores
(08:57:54 PM) ckelly: bout to be making moneys
(08:58:09 PM) ckelly: we start filming next spring I think
(08:58:27 PM) ckelly: we need a video editer if youre interested
(08:59:12 PM) edar: um, i’ll pass 😉 thx tho
(08:59:30 PM) ckelly: lolz k
(09:00:06 PM) ckelly: when I park my porn lambo next to matt’s lambo dont be all mad because you turned down something great 😛
(09:00:21 PM) edar: i promise
(09:05:18 PM) ckelly: I need a web guy yo
(09:05:37 PM) edar: sadly, my guy is booked up.
(04:02:02 PM) ckelly: do we get discounts on servers?
(04:04:16 PM) edar: we do
(04:04:31 PM) edar: you just need to talk to a sales supervisor
(04:05:42 PM) ckelly: cool
(04:06:00 PM) ckelly: that will come in handy when my porn empire takes off
(04:07:42 PM) edar: yep
(04:09:17 PM) ckelly: if only I knew some sort of asshole that could talk to women and convince them to do pornoz in a storage unit
(04:16:14 PM) edar: le sigh
(09:55:41 PM) ckelly: charlies 2nite?
(09:57:02 PM) edar: i’m barely managing to stay awake as it is
(09:57:06 PM) edar: didn’t sleep much or well
(09:57:15 PM) ckelly: same here. I think I puked but im not sure
(09:57:53 PM) ckelly: like I remember puking, but there was no puke the next day and my mouth didn’t taste like puke when I woke up…so idk if i did or didn’t
(09:57:57 PM) ckelly: might have been a dream
(09:58:01 PM) edar: lol
(09:58:07 PM) edar: i wouldn’t be surprised if you did
(09:58:09 PM) edar: you were not ok
(09:58:30 PM) ckelly: I wasn’t bad. thats the first time you seen me drunk
(09:58:31 PM) ckelly: lol
(10:01:21 PM) edar: nope
(10:01:22 PM) edar: it wasn’t
(10:01:24 PM) edar: because boat party
(10:02:03 PM) ckelly: HAH yes that thing
(03:46:28 PM) ckelly: man I got fucked up on sat at a house party
(03:50:31 PM) edar: did jack kelly make an appearance? and how bad were your decisions that night?
(03:51:49 PM) ckelly: Yes he did. I had two red solos of straight jack and was chugging fireball. I ended up hitting on like every guys gf there haha and then like was passing out and got carried out on my buddies shoulder lol woke up in the car in charlies parking lot lol
(03:51:53 PM) ckelly: I didn’t drive
(03:52:15 PM) ckelly: still woke up in time for the lions game :yes:
(04:46:35 PM) ckelly: ……………………………………………………… :brokenheart:
(04:46:49 PM) edar: you say that, but YOU’RE the one leaving, jerk
(04:50:24 PM) ckelly: you traded me like a pokemon card 🙁
(04:50:32 PM) edar: i did no such thing
(04:50:45 PM) edar: i didn’t want you to go
(04:50:51 PM) edar: either of you
(04:50:51 PM) ckelly: awww <3
(04:51:05 PM) edar: at least TOM knows what’s up
(04:51:10 PM) edar: HE’S MY NEW FAVORITE
(04:59:23 PM) ckelly: you know how to cut to the core of me :brokenheart:
(05:00:31 PM) edar: lol
(05:00:34 PM) edar: it’s almost as if i’m a girl
(05:00:51 PM) ckelly: haha
(11:38:21 PM) ckelly: haha too late you turned me down to hang out with jack
(11:38:39 PM) edar: lol i am SO not hanging out with jack
(11:38:42 PM) edar: i am hanging out with my house
(11:39:51 PM) ckelly: he said you chose him ova me
(11:39:58 PM) ckelly: is it cuz im leaving you?
(11:40:13 PM) edar: i choose NO ONE tonight
(11:40:22 PM) edar: except maybe netflix
(11:41:31 PM) ckelly: watch once upon a time
(11:41:42 PM) edar: i watched the first few seasons and was surprised to like it
(11:41:44 PM) edar: then i lost track
(11:42:12 PM) ckelly: m only like half way through the second and stopped lol
(11:42:28 PM) ckelly: now Im watching some weird show I thought I would have no interest in
(11:42:30 PM) edar: it’s a bit trite and overplayed in some ways, but i like the main character
(11:42:33 PM) ckelly: called switched at birth
(11:42:36 PM) edar: haven’t heard of it
(11:42:48 PM) ckelly: its about two girls who were switched at birth
(11:42:52 PM) edar: oddly enough
(11:42:55 PM) edar: fiction or non?
(11:43:04 PM) ckelly: fiction i believe
(11:43:10 PM) edar: k
(11:53:05 PM) edar: let’s just tell jack i’m going out with you guys tho to keep him humble
(11:53:19 PM) ckelly: haha ok
(11:53:21 PM) ckelly: do it
(06:11:52 PM) ckelly: http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/if-you-bought-a-red-bull-in-the-last-12-years-they-owe-you-m?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#ca7mo3 lolz
(06:12:14 PM) edar: rofl
(06:12:33 PM) ckelly: how are you gonna say rofl….i can see you’re not even laughing
(06:12:56 PM) edar: i snorted?
(06:12:58 PM) edar: SNORT
(06:13:12 PM) ckelly: did you blow more air out of your nose than normal?
(06:13:36 PM) edar: are you more of a dick today than normal?
(06:14:01 PM) ckelly: lol no am I acting like one??? sorrz 🙁
(06:14:15 PM) edar: 😛
(09:00:42 PM) ckelly: So you know how I never ask you for anything ever?
(09:05:09 PM) edar: …
(09:05:10 PM) edar: wat
(09:05:35 PM) ckelly: can I has admin powers for like 5 seconds so I can boot jack out of seconds 😀 😀 😀 😀
(09:05:53 PM) edar: DO IT
(09:06:00 PM) ckelly: how do I do it?
(09:06:06 PM) edar: type /kick username
(09:06:12 PM) edar: then a reason
(09:06:18 PM) edar: so like /kick jack you’re a dickbag
(09:06:31 PM) ckelly: LOL
(09:06:50 PM) ckelly: totally worth is
(09:06:52 PM) ckelly: it!
(09:06:53 PM) edar: totes
(09:07:27 PM) ckelly: am I normal again?
(09:07:30 PM) edar: define “normal”
(09:20:29 PM) ckelly: soooooo can I has admin duties all the time <3 <3 <3
(09:20:34 PM) ***ckelly blinks
(09:21:04 PM) edar: you KNOW i loves me the blinks
(09:21:05 PM) edar: so no
(09:21:18 PM) ***ckelly blinks harder and faster
(09:21:28 PM) ckelly: dammmmnnnnn you 😛
(09:21:43 PM) edar: keep trying, it may eventually work.
(09:21:45 PM) edar: like, after you take flight
(09:22:02 PM) edar: altho it would be like the best jack troll evar
(11:45:35 PM) ckelly: you removed my priblages? 🙁 🙁
(11:45:50 PM) edar: yep
(11:45:54 PM) edar: you’re leaving
(11:46:14 PM) ckelly: I still have 15 min 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
(11:46:22 PM) edar: not as admin you don’t 😉
(11:58:31 PM) edar: (11:57:59 PM) BenedictKelly left the room (Kicked (Ceremony)).
(05:56:28 PM) ckelly: Error joining chat secondshift@/ckelly
406: Not Acceptable
(08:27:45 PM) ckelly: but yeah I was thinking about starting a band lolz
(08:27:55 PM) edar: that’s a very ckelly thing to want to do
(08:28:09 PM) ckelly: what does that even mean?
(09:22:04 PM) ckelly: Im so tired I just tried searching billing for a song to listen to
Because he is my younger, stupider, penis-weilding clone:
(04:58:36 PM) ckelly: O_O
(04:58:40 PM) ckelly: >)>
(04:58:45 PM) ckelly: <(<
(04:58:54 PM) ckelly: ^
(04:59:17 PM) ckelly: that looks like a little bug dancing
(04:59:18 PM) edar: is that… a caterpillar?
(04:59:19 PM) edar: lol
(04:59:20 PM) edar: yes it does
(04:59:40 PM) ckelly: lol we have so much in common we even think the same
(05:19:50 PM) ckelly: I may not know plesk all too well, but I know assholes lol
(05:19:59 PM) ***edar refrains from comment
(05:20:11 PM) ckelly: takes on to know one?
(05:20:15 PM) edar: ^^
(05:20:19 PM) edar: you relate to your people
(05:20:20 PM) ckelly: I was setting you up for an easy insult
(05:20:25 PM) edar: you do that a lot
(05:20:27 PM) edar: it works out ok
(08:08:12 PM) ckelly: dont be mad because I am a younger boy you
(08:08:21 PM) edar: i’m… not?
(08:08:23 PM) ckelly: you hate me because we are the same
(08:08:33 PM) ckelly: you love me because we are not
(04:11:02 PM) ckelly: so im going out with josh tonight so I must reddem myself
(04:13:28 PM) edar: good luck with that
(04:14:17 PM) ckelly: wanna come witness?
(04:14:24 PM) ckelly: even tho I hate EL with a passion
(04:14:31 PM) ckelly: this is what I told josh
(04:15:03 PM) ckelly: (05:28:22 PM) ckelly: I f-ing h8 EL
(05:44:19 PM) Josh Ankney: because you’re a bitch
(05:44:21 PM) Josh Ankney: EL is the shit
(05:45:56 PM) ckelly: LOL noi
(05:45:59 PM) ckelly: no its not
(05:46:02 PM) ckelly: not even close
(05:46:14 PM) ckelly: the women are sexy sure
(05:46:18 PM) Josh Ankney: when you’re base of operations is charlies, it’s a little hard to take you seriously
(05:46:31 PM) ckelly: no I like charlies cuz cheap alcohol
(05:51:48 PM) ckelly: I dont like waiting 20 min for a drink thats overpriced and smelling the same axe body spray on everyone. and not being able to talk to bitches because their heads are so far up their own ass because their daddys are paying for their college because they are so proud of them for getting a 22 on their ACT and pursuing a life dream of becoming a photagrapher. when in reality they will just end up being some porn slut or working at the same starbucks they already work at. meanwhile their meathead boyfriends are so far gone after their two PBRs they had they want to fight everything in the world because he just learned what crossfit was so his ego is through the roof.
(05:51:54 PM) ckelly: #rant
(05:55:33 PM) Josh Ankney: all of that is entirely true
(04:16:19 PM) edar: (05:46:18 PM) Josh Ankney: when you’re base of operations is charlies, it’s a little hard to take you seriously
(04:16:33 PM) ckelly: thats what you got out of that 😛
(04:16:48 PM) edar: that’s the best line 😀
(04:16:58 PM) ***ckelly sigh
(04:17:04 PM) ckelly: I hate you 😛
(04:17:18 PM) edar: i know
(04:17:21 PM) edar: all is right in the world
(04:20:25 PM) ckelly: anyway when am I moving in?
(04:20:30 PM) edar: funny
(04:20:43 PM) ckelly: 😀 <3 😀
(04:20:55 PM) ckelly: we dont even work the same shift we would never see eachother
(04:21:01 PM) edar: nope
(04:21:09 PM) edar: i have no desire to live with another human
(04:21:12 PM) edar: it’s not just a ckelly thing
(04:21:22 PM) edar: if you were on the verge of being homeless, fine, temporarily
(04:21:24 PM) edar: HOWEVER
(04:21:26 PM) edar: you are not
(04:21:39 PM) ckelly: ill bring home some bitches fo you
(04:21:44 PM) edar: i can get my own bitches, thx
(04:21:52 PM) ckelly: 😛
(06:49:21 PM) ckelly: what kinda sweet HWG do you wan?
(06:49:33 PM) edar: hwg?
(06:50:21 PM) ckelly: house warming gift…obvi…I thought was a common acronym
(06:51:12 PM) edar: lolol
(06:51:16 PM) edar: please don’t bring anything at all, honestly
(06:51:22 PM) edar: it’s just about having people over, not about any gifts
(06:51:27 PM) ckelly: not even something hilarious?
(06:51:30 PM) edar: bring booze if you want to contribute 😉
(06:51:35 PM) edar: i truly have enough STUFF
(06:51:49 PM) ckelly: then can I take stuff for my place cuz I dont haz anything
(11/05/2014 04:02:38 PM) ckelly: HEY!!!!1!
(04:03:08 PM) edar: hey
(04:03:24 PM) ckelly: guess who got approved for an apt today so we wont be roomates
(04:03:26 PM) ckelly: this guy
(04:03:34 PM) edar: oh shit! nice job, my son.
(04:03:41 PM) ckelly: you sad?
(04:03:51 PM) edar: sure, let’s go with “sad”
(04:12:07 PM) ckelly: thats what we will go with then
(07:01:08 PM) ckelly: can I wear a toga to your party?
(07:01:28 PM) edar: sure
(07:01:36 PM) ckelly: 😀
(07:01:41 PM) ckelly: and my obama mask?
(07:01:50 PM) edar: well you can’t have a toga w/o the mask, right?
(07:56:29 PM) ckelly: do you know where I can can get a kitten?
(07:56:38 PM) ckelly: all white
(07:56:42 PM) edar: <blink>
(07:56:45 PM) edar: NO
(07:56:58 PM) ckelly: I need a kitten all white
(07:57:05 PM) edar: pretty sure you actually don’t
(07:57:12 PM) edar: because animals are not good costumes
(06:27:10 PM) ckelly: everyone is trying to get me to wing man for them tonight
(06:27:19 PM) edar: define “everyone”
(06:27:29 PM) edar: also, i work til midnight, and the corset takes awhile to get into 😛
(06:27:34 PM) ckelly: ….I don’t think girls are going to take a skinny man wearing a giant american themed condom very seriously
(06:27:41 PM) edar: lololol
(06:27:58 PM) edar: i REALLY want to make that the topic
(06:28:00 PM) edar: but i won’t
(07:51:38 PM) ckelly: I was thinking about staying for an hour but I have shit I have to do before beer. Ill probably meet yall out at bdubs tho
(07:51:43 PM) edar: right on
(07:51:44 PM) edar: wait
(07:51:48 PM) edar: what about capt condom?
(07:51:51 PM) edar: wasn’t that a thing tonight?
(07:52:01 PM) ckelly: well I am going to that first but I dont wanna stay all night
(07:52:03 PM) edar: ah
(07:52:06 PM) ckelly: unless I get lucky
(07:52:09 PM) edar: course
(07:52:11 PM) edar: goes w/o saying
(07:52:21 PM) ckelly: its about a 5% chance of getting laid in that thing
(07:52:24 PM) edar: lolol
(07:52:26 PM) edar: wear a cup
(07:52:28 PM) edar: that’ll help
(07:52:33 PM) edar: no olive-smuggling
(07:52:40 PM) ckelly: ill just let my man buldge do the trick
(07:52:44 PM) edar: <hork>
(07:52:48 PM) ckelly: lol
(06:39:43 PM) ckelly: I really feel like shit and not trying to get the “A team” sick
(06:39:54 PM) edar: lame, sorry
(06:40:00 PM) edar: this place is a friggin cesspool
(06:40:45 PM) ckelly: yeah dude everyone is like caughing and sneezing (me included) and not washing their hands (not me included) im probably going to bring sanatizer tomorrow and clean everyone
(06:40:54 PM) edar: ick
(06:40:57 PM) edar: lol “everyone”
(06:41:02 PM) edar: “hold still, kohl.”
(06:41:06 PM) edar: <dousedousedouse>
(06:41:24 PM) ckelly: just wait at the door and squirt everyone
(06:42:04 PM) edar: aaaand ick
(08:03:06 PM) ckelly: imma create a dick with my server just so yall have something to do
(08:03:40 PM) edar: <blink>
(08:06:03 PM) edar: (08:05:55 PM) tmay has set the topic to: (08:03:06 PM) ckelly: imma create a dick with my server just so yall have something to do
(08:06:06 PM) edar: see what you’re missing?
(08:06:32 PM) ckelly: did I really say dick?
(08:06:34 PM) ckelly: LMAO
(08:06:39 PM) edar: you did
(08:06:41 PM) ckelly: Im so tired I thought I said ticket
(08:06:43 PM) edar: LOL
(08:06:51 PM) ckelly: I guess we know whats on my mind
(05:17:34 PM) ckelley: can I call you to get the GS password
(05:17:40 PM) edar: :sure
(05:17:44 PM) ckelly: <3
(05:18:04 PM) edar: this is a good opportunity
(05:18:05 PM) edar: for you
(05:18:05 PM) edar: to learn
(05:18:07 PM) edar: how to use the
(05:18:09 PM) edar: “directory”
(05:18:09 PM) edar: button
(05:18:13 PM) ckelly: waz yo numba girrrll
(05:18:15 PM) ckelly: damn you
(05:21:04 PM) ckelly: now I can just call you on the phone whenever I wanna talk
(05:21:08 PM) ckelly: how citing
(05:07:43 PM) edar: http://whydoesedardrink.com/
(05:09:46 PM) ckelly: oh gawd I have my own section
(05:09:54 PM) edar: YES YOU DO
(05:09:55 PM) edar: 😀
(05:14:37 PM) ckelly: how long have you been keeping tabs on my life?
(05:17:00 PM) edar: lol that’s just the most recent log
(05:25:43 PM) ckelly: [and to preserve what little is left of his dignity, I am leaving off what happened next]
(05:25:47 PM) ckelly: my fave part
(05:26:08 PM) edar: yeah i figured that would be really horrible to put online 😀
(05:26:25 PM) edar: i want to make people laugh, not make people think less of you
(05:26:34 PM) edar: maybe embarrass you a LITTLE
(05:26:40 PM) edar: but not destroy you in any way
(05:29:05 PM) ckelly is this just one chat log?
(05:29:11 PM) edar: yeah
(05:29:13 PM) edar: our current one
(05:29:21 PM) edar: i didn’t go back into the archives
(05:29:22 PM) ckelly: wow I am an asswhole man whore fromt he sounds of it
(05:29:27 PM) edar: lololol
(05:44:02 PM) ckelly: you shared my life stories in channel?
(05:44:11 PM) edar: nope
(05:44:15 PM) edar: i shared them on a web page
(05:44:20 PM) edar: but not the sensitive bits
(05:44:21 PM) ckelly: ohgawd now everyone who didnt already know im an asshole now knows
(05:44:26 PM) edar: and, if you want me to take any of that down, i will
(05:44:35 PM) ckelly: nah I dont care
(05:44:40 PM) edar: i figgered 😛
(05:44:48 PM) ckelly: maybe take some names off of girls I may have sexed
(05:44:49 PM) ckelly: 😀
(05:44:54 PM) ckelly: or make names up
(05:44:58 PM) ckelly: just in case
(05:45:02 PM) edar: yeah that’s fair
(05:45:13 PM) ckelly: make them sound exotic like vanessa and jasmine
(05:45:23 PM) ckelly: disney
(05:45:28 PM) edar: lol
(06:32:52 PM) ckelly: I feel like if you had all the conversations ever, and the patience not to get all mad at my hilarious demeanor that page could get 100Xs the “CKelly is a dick” comments
(06:33:46 PM) ckelly: also reading those conversations over, It turns out I only have two settins. Get Bitches and Sing Karaoke
(06:39:27 PM) edar: LOL
(06:39:31 PM) edar: that is entirely true 😀