Category: Booze

Flamingos

rlong: y’all be safe driving tonight, those winds are looking pretty intense, seeing gusts of over 50mph heading our way [23:36]jreal: and here I was hoping that just… wouldn’t..  happen [23:36]ecraig: I should have ridden my bike [23:36]jreal: I should have ridden a kite [23:36]ecraig: 🙂 [23:36]ecraig:I like extreme things [23:36]acarl: I have a flamingo one in my car right… Read more →

Myself/MySQL

I drink because I am sometimes an idiot. Also, because muscle memory is A Thing, and I cannot type “myself” without typing “mysql” at least twice. Same thing with “serves,” which becomes “servers.” At any rate. Part of my job as a supervisor is to monitor the quality of our support tickets to make sure everyone is providing the quality customer… Read more →

Confusing Bro Moments

One of my favorite bartenders also frequents his own establishment in his off-hours. We’ve gotten to know each other a bit, buy each other drinks, the usual thing. He’s my bro, my buddy; I’d be his wingman anytime. A couple of weeks back, I was sitting at a table with work buds, and he came up and talked to us… Read more →

Not my night

Whenever I invite Corey out, he always asks, “so who all is going?” because he is so cool, he must ensure it’s worth his while to show up, and evidently, I, by myself, am not worth his time. Monday night, I was shooting some pool at one bar, when Corey Kelly called and asked me to go to a different bar… Read more →

Globalsign.

One of my admins just came up to my desk to get the new password. This was the entirety of the conversation: Jasper: Globalsign. Globalsign. Globalsign? Me: Globalsign. <handing him the password> Jasper: Globalsign. <he writes it down, hands it back.> Globalsign. Me: Globalsign! He walks away, mission accomplished. Read more →

Puns

Puns make me angry. Fiercely, horribly, egregiously, irrationally angry. My team knows this. Some of them, however, cannot help themselves (and, to be fair, making me burst into flames is probably considered an added plus.) (10:45:03 PM) morgan: Why don’t lobsters share? (10:45:23 PM) alex: idk morgan why? (10:45:32 PM) morgan: Because they’re shellfish (10:45:36 PM) nathan: You see as… Read more →

A Rose By Any Other Name (Would Still Be An Asshole)

We are trying to guess Jack’s middle name. I know it starts with “A.” (10:11:21 PM) happy_unicorn: andrew… alexander… (10:11:24 PM) happy_unicorn: arnold… (10:11:25 PM) happy_unicorn: aruba (10:11:47 PM) needles: Anthony (10:11:50 PM) needles: Andre (10:12:01 PM) happy_unicorn: achilles (10:12:08 PM) needles: Asshole (10:13:04 PM) happy_unicorn: james ardvaark hayhurst (10:35:22 PM) happy_unicorn: LOL (10:39:50 PM) happy_unicorn: jim alligator hayhurst (10:39:51… Read more →